JEFF- "Blue Kansas Geoffrey"
Not so much a musician as an illusionist, BKG works hard to get those three chords in the right order for you.  The notes might not always be right, but at least they'll be loud.  An avid Schlitz fan.  Get on his s*** list by hollering "Freebird."  I mean really, he'll call you out, you SOB.

MARK- "Ron Sticks Jaworski"

He's the Left Tackle of the band because no one notices how important his job is unless he doesn't do it.  Basketball star, state-champion pole-vaulter, and the heart and soul of The Phaetons, you should play him a round of golf for money.  Mark lives in McPherson near his three lovely children, two Weimaraners, and his first wife, Beth. 

The Phaetons             

Who Are These Guys?
ROB- "Anybodygottasonglist"

Often pressing down on both the white AND the black buttons, Rob gives The Phaetons a cool keyboard groove.  Maybe he always yells "What key?" because he has 88 of them to choose from.  Rob's safe word is "embouchure."
DAVE- "The Daviac 5000"
Almost certainly the best rockabilly guitarist in McPherson County's Superior Township, Dave ages at less than half the rate of normal humans.  When not sailing several yards above the dirt racing motocross, he jets the globe hardsurfacing extrusion screws. Humor him when he asks you to smell his F-Holes.
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